Owning, Loving, Brave..

I just finished reading the book The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown.  So many parts of this book jumped out at me, and fit my situation.  You will see many quotes used on my blog from her book.  It calmed my heart.  This book helped me realize that no matter what, as long as I was okay with the path, it didn't matter what anyone else thought.  In the beginning of the end of my marriage it was small things, after 10 years these small things had turned into boulders that I couldn't get over.  In the end those boulders seemed like pebbles compared to the things we were dealing with.

This was the first thing I came across in Brene's book that forever changed me.  I had made huge mistakes in the last few months of my marriage, but those mistakes were also a part of what had made me decide the marriage was over, so I owned them.  Loving myself through it all; let me give you a little back story on me.  I have this crazy idea in my head that I'm here to change the world.  It may be on a small scale, but I'm a strong believer that as humans we are like pebbles being thrown into a stream.  Each an everyone of us is sending ripples out into the world.  I try to focus very hard on making my ripples positive, world changing ripples!  As I looked back on the last few months, I was disappointed, and sad at the choices that I had made.  In the end, they had negatively affected the marriage.  I could meddle in those feelings, or I could realize that I had made mistakes, and love myself anyway.  I believe in a loving and forgiving Lord, and I think he knows what a pure and kind heart I have.  I choose to move forward and love myself, I choose to not let those mistakes define the person that I am or the person I will grow to be.  Once I realized that if I was okay with what my story was, it didn't matter what anyone else thought.  People could talk behind my back, some stopped talking to me all together, it didn't matter anymore.  I was a beautiful, strong, brave woman. Strong enough that I was willing to take the scary leap, and go out into the world with just me and my +5.

"You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you ARE WORTHY of love and belonging!"

Brene Brown